Getting It

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I have lost track of the number of people who tell me that “they get it”.  No, really, “they get it.”  They’ve talked to their gay, black, female, Romani, immigrant – pick your own minority – and, wow, they get it.

No, you don’t.

You may want to get it, out of concern for your friend (admirable), or simply so people don’t think less of you (not so admirable.)  Either way, wanting is not having.  Having comes from living “The Life”, whatever that is.  Living gay, black, female, Romani, immigrant – etc.  You get it because you keep getting it.  Keep getting all the trash, all the BS that comes with being said minority – or just plain different.

Straights don’t ‘get’ the importance of gay marriage, for example, because they don’t have to worry about inheritance, or getting your spouse on the company insurance.  What they have is at best an intellectual understanding.  Getting it is more visceral than that.  Getting it is having to worry every day if your spouse getting injured, or really, really sic means you lose everything.

Getting it is the difference between the intellectual and the experienced, between imagination and reality.

It took me a long time to “get” that I don’t always “get it” just because I want to.  So, I suppose I shouldn’t expect the rest of the world to just stop saying that they “get it”.  Still, I wish they’d at least try.